Friday, May 06, 2005

joy across my big brass bed

In the light of my very recent posts about Dylan, it is extremely bizarre that I have just received the following piece of Nigerian Scam Spam from someone whose email 'name' is Joy Lady Joy.

MY NAME IS MRS.MABEL MARADAS, I AM THE MANAGER CREDIT AND ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT GLOBAL BANK LAGOS.I WRITE YOUIN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER WITH ACCOUNT NUMBER14-255-2004/CCB/NG.WHO AMONG OTHERS ON BOARD HAD A PLANE CRASH INUSAON THE 31ST OCTOBER 1999.ALL ON BOARD PERISH AND DIED IN THEPLANCRASH.SIR,SINCE THE DEMISE OF THIS OUR CUSTOMER MR GEORGE SHIMONY A LEBANESE IMPORT AND EXPORT TYCOON HERE IN LAGOS . I HAVEKEPT A CLOSE MONITORING OF THE DEPOSIT RECORDS AND ACCOUNTS SINCE THEN NO BODY HAS COME TO CLAIM THE MONEY IN THIS ACCOUNT AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE LATE MR GEORGE SHIMONY,HAS ONLY $10.5MLLION IN HIS ACCOUNT AND THE ACCOUNT IS CODED IT IS ONLY AN INSIDER THAT COULD PRODUCE THE CODE OR PASSWORD OF THE DEPOSIT PARTICULARS. AS IT STANDS NOW. THERE IS NOBODY IN THAT POSITION TO PRODUCE THE NEEDED INFORMATION OTHER THAN MY VERY SELF CONSIDERING MY POSITION IN THE BANK.BASED ON THE REASONS THAT NOBODY HAS COME FOR THE CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF KIN, I SEEK FOR YOUR CO OPERATION TO USE YOUR NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DESEASED TO SEND THIS FUNDS OUT TO A FOREIGN OFFSHOREBANK ACCOUNT FOR MUTUAL SHARING BETWEEN ME AND YOU ONLY AS I AM THE ONLY ONE WITH THE INFORMATION BECAUSE I HAVE REMOVED THE DEPOSIT FILE FROM THE SAFE .BY THIS DOING, WHAT IS REQUIRED FROM YOU IS TO SENDAN APPLICATION SEEKING CLAIMS OF THE DEPOSIT AS NEXT OF KIN TO THELATE MR SHIMONY.I WILL SEND YOU SPECIMEN OF APPLICATION AS SOON AS YOU CONFIRM YOUR READINESS TO ASSIST ME MOVE THE FUNDS OUT OF THE VAULT OF OUR BANK.NOTE: THE BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS IN THIS COUNTRY DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH DEPOSIT TO STAY MORE THAN FIVE YEARS AS AN EXPERTRIATES ACCOUNT , IF THE DEPOSIT STAYS MORE THAN TOLD FIVE YEARS THE FUNDS WILL BE INHERITED BY NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT ASUNCLAIMED DEPOSIT.
IN VIEW OF THIS DEVELOPMENT I BEG FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND FULL CO-OPERATION TO COME AND LAY CLAIMED TO THIS DEPOSIT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR GEORGE SHIMONY THERE IS NO RISKINVOLVE IN THIS BUSINESS AS YOU WILL BE EQUIPED WITH ALL VITALINFORMATION OF THE DEPOSI AND THE ACCOUNT. YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN DOESNOTMATTER, WHAT MATTERS IS YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN HAVING ALL NECCESSARY INFORMATION TO BACK UP YOUR CLAIMS . NOTE THAT ALL MODALITIES? FOR A HITCH FREE TRANSACTION HAS BEEN PERFECTED FROMMYSIDE I WILL SUPPLY YOU WITH ALL THE ACCOUNT PARTICULARS . I WILL NEED YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS COMPANY OR RESIDENTIAL SO THAT I CAN COMPUTERISE THEM TO TALLY WITH NEXT OF KIN COLLUM IN THECERTIFICATEOF DEPOSIT.FINALLY I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE REQUEST FOR A FOREIGNER AS THE NEXT OF KIN IS OCCATIONED BY THE FACTTHATTHE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND FOR THAT ONLY REASON A LOCALCANNOTREPRESENT AS NEXT OF KIN.I HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THIS MONEY WITHYOUIN THE MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING OF 40%/60%YOU KEEP 40 WHILE I KEEP 60.YOU HAVE MERITED THIS PERCENTAGE BECAUSE YOU WILL PROVIDE THE ACCOUNT WHERE WE SHALL FINALLY TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO ON A SUCCESSFULCLAIMING OF THE DEPOSIT. MY 60% WILL REMAIN IN THE ACCOUNT PENDINGMYARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT AND SUBSEQUENTINVESTMENTS.
LASTLY FOR THE IMMEDIATE TAKE OFF OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU HAVE TO CONFIRM YOUR WILLINGNESS AND READINESS TO ASSIST ME RETRIVE THIS DEPOSIT, THEN I WILL SEND TO YOU BY FAX ORE-MAIL THE APPLICATION TEXT AND OTHER VITAL INFORMATION YOU NEEDTOKNOW ABOUT THE DEPOSIT.I ASSURE YOU OF 100% RISK FREETRANSACTION.TRUSTING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
GOD BLESS!.
YOURS RESPECTFULLY ,
MRS MABEL MARADAS,

Only $10.5 million? The man died a pauper!
 

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