From the Hotel Splendide
In the event of an
armed insurrection
guests are advised
to stay towards
the back of the room
& avoid all windows.
The Management accepts
no responsibility for
injuries caused by
stray bullets or ricochets.
Should the revolution
be successful the same
instructions still apply. The
victory parade is always
punctuated by the firing
of guns into the air. If
unsuccessful please do not
film the subsequent reprisals.
From a distance video cameras
may be mistaken for AK47s
or small hand-held missile
launchers. If the U.S. invades
there are forms enabling you
to claim for accidental
death from friendly fire
included with the other
hotel brochures. When
completed, please hang
outside your room along with
your cancelled breakfast menu.
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