Monday, September 19, 2005

The solution in hand

If I had taken up
all the offers
consequentially, com-
pleted each treatment
& returned for more,
my penis would stretch
from here to the
White House or
the Mongolian border. I
would no longer
have to work. Those
parts under water
could be leased out
as a submarine
cable or a seismic
detection device. Slightly
modified I could be
used for mineral &
oil exploration. Add
hooks & I could feed
the village for a
year with the fish
I caught. On land
& with a catheter camera
inserted into my urinary
tract I would be a
spy device. Satellites are
all very well, but think
of the advantages of
on-the-ground
surveillance. &, as I
snaked my way across
the North American
continent, parts of me
could appear at every
State Fair I passed
through. Then there’s the
added bonuses. My
overseas friends
could give me head. Plus.
Anybody disgruntled with
U.S. policy could hire me
out, the one-shot wonder,
the only person able to
piss on the President
from a great height length.

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