Friday, September 10, 2004

how yesterday's "things to do list" went

Went to give Iraq back but the oil companies & Halliburton asked me to postpone my actions
Went to give Chechnya back but the oil companies asked me to postpone
Went to announce there was oil in Sudan but the oil companies asked me to postpone the announcement until Halliburton had finished in Iraq
Invited George W Borg to open the internment camp but the oil companies & Halliburton asked me to postpone it because there was an election campaign going on that they needed to win
Asked if Dick Cheney could come instead. After all he is the real President but because of protocol I had to ask the figuredickhead first. Cheney is thinking about it
Have plans in place to change the sign over the gate if Cheney comes. Now it will be a misquoting of Allen Ginsberg. "America I’ve given you nothing & now I'm all."
Have cloned Nelson Mandela but found I cannot use him because Halliburton & the oil companies have a joint patent out on world peace & have locked it away in their vaults because it's bad for their current business
Have cloned Genghis Khan. We are working out how the Golden Horde can launch an assault on the above-mentioned vaults
Discovered Doris Day is not under contract to any of the oil companies or Halliburton & therefore nobody will add her to their play lists
Have gone to the Supreme Court asking for a definition of slavery because Halliburton & the oil companies claim that their employee contracts do not fall inside its purview
Couldn't get any petrol to run my slowboat. Am taking it to China for refueling
Reanimated Godzilla but discovered he was under contract to the oil companies as a source of alternative energy & to Halliburton as a demolition expert
Told the world all poetry is political. The main response was "what's poetry?" Most of the rest googled "political poetry", got this & decided to let others do their thinking for them
Went to write a political poem. Discovered Click here to send a note of encouragement to Halliburton employees & used it to write notes to George W. & Dick Cheney instead

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